104.1kg.
Sorry to be blunt, but THANK FUCK.
I needed that. I needed inspiration to stay motivated, and that was it. I needed something to stop me turning to my drug of choice, and this result has.
I now want to keep going, and keep workoing towards a healthy weight.
Sigh.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
For the first time in a long time...
I feel in control.
My life has been a downward spiral for a number of months now, and I feel like I have taken comfort in the one thing I can control - what goes in my mouth.
I started my medication last week. Up until then, I was medicating myself with food. Bad food. I simply stopped caring. Of course it didn't treat my depression, but it took away the pain for a while.
I bought 2 family size kit kat blocks and ate them. In one go. At the same time. Then vomited.
I bought 6 Jim Beam cans, and drank them in my car. All in one go. At the same time. I didn't drive anywhere though. I was in my driveway after a night at working. Earlier that night I had eaten a king size twirl, a king size kit kat, a packet of toobs, and a chocolate Big M. All between 7pm - 10pm.
The guilt you feel from doing this is far worse and more depressing than the depression itself. It's such a deadly cycle, and unless you're an emotional eater, it's hard for people to really understand.
But, something happened last Tuesday. I woke up with such clarity. I had this huge cloud over me for so long, and for some reason I was clear. I suddenly knew what I needed to focus on - my weight.
I jumped on the scales, and my eyes started to water as I saw 107.9kg. I was so angry with myself. So disgusted. All I wanted to do was eat, but I fought it. Instead, I went and joined weight watchers that week, and took control.
So thats it. I have bee so good all week. Only eating what my body needs. I've been having my protein serve at lunch, and steamed vegies for dinner most nights. Ive walked 7.5km this week, which isn't alot for me, but was a hige effort, as I haven't exercised for quite a while. I feel a bit lighter, but only time will tell.
The challenge will be to stay in control after I've weighed in, and not turn to food for comfort if it's not the result I want. I have to be careful, because I can feel myself getting a tad obsessive with this, and don't want to end up like Mum, who has had Anorexia Nervosa 5 times, and was commited for 3 of those times.
Wish me luck. I weigh in at 9am. Lord, give me strength...
My life has been a downward spiral for a number of months now, and I feel like I have taken comfort in the one thing I can control - what goes in my mouth.
I started my medication last week. Up until then, I was medicating myself with food. Bad food. I simply stopped caring. Of course it didn't treat my depression, but it took away the pain for a while.
I bought 2 family size kit kat blocks and ate them. In one go. At the same time. Then vomited.
I bought 6 Jim Beam cans, and drank them in my car. All in one go. At the same time. I didn't drive anywhere though. I was in my driveway after a night at working. Earlier that night I had eaten a king size twirl, a king size kit kat, a packet of toobs, and a chocolate Big M. All between 7pm - 10pm.
The guilt you feel from doing this is far worse and more depressing than the depression itself. It's such a deadly cycle, and unless you're an emotional eater, it's hard for people to really understand.
But, something happened last Tuesday. I woke up with such clarity. I had this huge cloud over me for so long, and for some reason I was clear. I suddenly knew what I needed to focus on - my weight.
I jumped on the scales, and my eyes started to water as I saw 107.9kg. I was so angry with myself. So disgusted. All I wanted to do was eat, but I fought it. Instead, I went and joined weight watchers that week, and took control.
So thats it. I have bee so good all week. Only eating what my body needs. I've been having my protein serve at lunch, and steamed vegies for dinner most nights. Ive walked 7.5km this week, which isn't alot for me, but was a hige effort, as I haven't exercised for quite a while. I feel a bit lighter, but only time will tell.
The challenge will be to stay in control after I've weighed in, and not turn to food for comfort if it's not the result I want. I have to be careful, because I can feel myself getting a tad obsessive with this, and don't want to end up like Mum, who has had Anorexia Nervosa 5 times, and was commited for 3 of those times.
Wish me luck. I weigh in at 9am. Lord, give me strength...
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Hopping on the Laparoscopic Band-wagon.
Yup. I'm doing it.
It's taken a while for me to see the light, but jumping on the scales last week @ 103.4kg showed me not only do I need to lose weight, but I need to CONTROL my weight. I got down to 89kg, and as soon as I think about it, I start to tear up and just want to binge. I know, I need to get my head healthy too, and I'm off to see a Dietician about it, but I need long term weight control assistance. I need to CONTROL my weight, not just to get to 70kg, but this will be something I need to work at long term. I'm not going on some stupid diet to shed the weight and feel guilty about eating a hamburger. I shouldn't EVER feel guilty about eating food, but I do, ALL THE TIME, and punish myself when I do have some of the "naughty food".
So, I'm off to another information seminar on Thursday night. I'm feeling like a bit of a failure, as this is something I should be able to do, not have to have surgey to help me with.
Will report back in after the seminar.
It's taken a while for me to see the light, but jumping on the scales last week @ 103.4kg showed me not only do I need to lose weight, but I need to CONTROL my weight. I got down to 89kg, and as soon as I think about it, I start to tear up and just want to binge. I know, I need to get my head healthy too, and I'm off to see a Dietician about it, but I need long term weight control assistance. I need to CONTROL my weight, not just to get to 70kg, but this will be something I need to work at long term. I'm not going on some stupid diet to shed the weight and feel guilty about eating a hamburger. I shouldn't EVER feel guilty about eating food, but I do, ALL THE TIME, and punish myself when I do have some of the "naughty food".
So, I'm off to another information seminar on Thursday night. I'm feeling like a bit of a failure, as this is something I should be able to do, not have to have surgey to help me with.
Will report back in after the seminar.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Crackin' the 100's...
As sad and pathetic as that is, it's this weeks goal.
Last Monday I was 102.5kg, yesterday was 101.1kg.
No way am I going to meet April's goal.
I went to the gym last Saturday and Monday, and walked 4km in 40mins. I burnt 380 calories each time.
This week I go tomorrow, Wednesday, and Saturday morning. I will try to walk longer in my 40 mins on the treddy.
I need to also include 2 photos here, for motivational purposes:
I still fit into those jeans. They're my favourite wide leg jeans, but for some reason, they're skin tight on my thighs lol!!
I'm angry at just how fast it all came back on, yet getting it off is such an emotional and physically draining, lifelong pain in my rear.
Next Monday, the plan is to be under 100kg. Wish me luck....
Last Monday I was 102.5kg, yesterday was 101.1kg.
No way am I going to meet April's goal.
I went to the gym last Saturday and Monday, and walked 4km in 40mins. I burnt 380 calories each time.
This week I go tomorrow, Wednesday, and Saturday morning. I will try to walk longer in my 40 mins on the treddy.
I need to also include 2 photos here, for motivational purposes:
Thisis me at a shocking 127kg in September 2003. If anything, I had really nice hair back then, ROFL!
I find it so overwhelming, and sickening, that I was that big. I mean, back then I knew I was big, but didn't feel that big. I mean, that's HUGE!
And this, me at my lightest @ 89kg:
I still fit into those jeans. They're my favourite wide leg jeans, but for some reason, they're skin tight on my thighs lol!!
I'm angry at just how fast it all came back on, yet getting it off is such an emotional and physically draining, lifelong pain in my rear.
Next Monday, the plan is to be under 100kg. Wish me luck....
Friday, April 11, 2008
The God honest truth.
After thinking long and hard, and having discussions with my GP, we've decided looking into something long term to aid weightloss and maintain a healthy weight.
Although, as I wirte this, I feel like a failure. I can't do it myself, no matter how hard I try. I have to starve myself to lose weight, and I don't want to do that long term. I don't want to get down to 80 or 70, then blink and be 100, or even worse. I don't want to binge when I'm emotional. I sometimes think it was be easier to be dependant on something other than food, like heroin or gambling, as at least then, from an outsiders POV as I walk down the street, I'd look normal. I'd look like a normal, size 12-14 female, like the one that just passed me.
I am miserable, and I can feel myself sliding into a depressive state. And, being an emotional eater, when I'm miserable, I binge. It's like a drug, and something people mock. "Just don't eat!".
Yeah, righto.
Because I've never lost a considerable amount of weight ever before, I've never experienced putting some of it back on. I really, and I mean really, hate myself at the moment. All that hard work, the starving, the gym, sessions, THE MONEY, for what? For me to go from 89kg to 100kg. I am disgusted with myself for allowing it to happen. The worst thing is, you know what makes me feel better? Yup, eating.
I have limited girlfriends, and have always bonded better and had more in common with males, all throughout my life. I have one friend, let's call him H, who I don't see very often. Actually, he's not even a friend. Just someone I know through someone, if ya get me. Anyways, I saw him on my way home from a Hen's night the other night, and he was blown away with how well I scrub up. He stood there, looking at me, saying things like "You look amazing!", "My God Amber, you're gorgeous!", and the one I remember most, "You're fucking HOT!". It was nothing special. Light blue jeans, boots, a halterneck top and my hair straight. I actually left home going "Why bother Ambs, you don't look and less fatter".
I started to cry. I was so embarrassed. But God, I wish I could feel as good as those compliments sounded. Those are the kinds of things you say to a normal sized, attractive woman, not me. I don't warrant such gorgeous compliments, and certainly don't deserve them weighing over 100kg. H gave me a huge hug, and I left a snot trail on his shirt lol! He tried to re-affirm that I was attractive, but it just left me feeling like a fool, and that he must've felt obligated to compliment me seeing as one could see the effort that had gone in.
I really wish things like this made a difference. I wish genuine comments from people made me feel better, but they make me feel worse. Worse because I know I've looked better. Surely I looked better at 89kg? And, even then, surely I'd look better at 79kg? It's just such a long, long way, and so hard. It's so easy to put on weight, but such an emotional and physical drain to lose it. I work until midnight 3 days a week surrounded by chocolate, and I'm seriously considering quitting just to get myself out of that enviroment.
I'm going to a seminar on lapband surgery for long term hunger and weight assistance this week. I will also be seeing someone for my mental health. Simply exercising and cutting back on food isn't doing it anymore. The whole package needs addressing. I feel like such a fool and a huge failure admitting that. This is simple science, and something I should be able to do, especially seeing as I've done it before.
Please wish me luck...
I just feel like my life is out of control ATM.
Although, as I wirte this, I feel like a failure. I can't do it myself, no matter how hard I try. I have to starve myself to lose weight, and I don't want to do that long term. I don't want to get down to 80 or 70, then blink and be 100, or even worse. I don't want to binge when I'm emotional. I sometimes think it was be easier to be dependant on something other than food, like heroin or gambling, as at least then, from an outsiders POV as I walk down the street, I'd look normal. I'd look like a normal, size 12-14 female, like the one that just passed me.
I am miserable, and I can feel myself sliding into a depressive state. And, being an emotional eater, when I'm miserable, I binge. It's like a drug, and something people mock. "Just don't eat!".
Yeah, righto.
Because I've never lost a considerable amount of weight ever before, I've never experienced putting some of it back on. I really, and I mean really, hate myself at the moment. All that hard work, the starving, the gym, sessions, THE MONEY, for what? For me to go from 89kg to 100kg. I am disgusted with myself for allowing it to happen. The worst thing is, you know what makes me feel better? Yup, eating.
I have limited girlfriends, and have always bonded better and had more in common with males, all throughout my life. I have one friend, let's call him H, who I don't see very often. Actually, he's not even a friend. Just someone I know through someone, if ya get me. Anyways, I saw him on my way home from a Hen's night the other night, and he was blown away with how well I scrub up. He stood there, looking at me, saying things like "You look amazing!", "My God Amber, you're gorgeous!", and the one I remember most, "You're fucking HOT!". It was nothing special. Light blue jeans, boots, a halterneck top and my hair straight. I actually left home going "Why bother Ambs, you don't look and less fatter".
I started to cry. I was so embarrassed. But God, I wish I could feel as good as those compliments sounded. Those are the kinds of things you say to a normal sized, attractive woman, not me. I don't warrant such gorgeous compliments, and certainly don't deserve them weighing over 100kg. H gave me a huge hug, and I left a snot trail on his shirt lol! He tried to re-affirm that I was attractive, but it just left me feeling like a fool, and that he must've felt obligated to compliment me seeing as one could see the effort that had gone in.
I really wish things like this made a difference. I wish genuine comments from people made me feel better, but they make me feel worse. Worse because I know I've looked better. Surely I looked better at 89kg? And, even then, surely I'd look better at 79kg? It's just such a long, long way, and so hard. It's so easy to put on weight, but such an emotional and physical drain to lose it. I work until midnight 3 days a week surrounded by chocolate, and I'm seriously considering quitting just to get myself out of that enviroment.
I'm going to a seminar on lapband surgery for long term hunger and weight assistance this week. I will also be seeing someone for my mental health. Simply exercising and cutting back on food isn't doing it anymore. The whole package needs addressing. I feel like such a fool and a huge failure admitting that. This is simple science, and something I should be able to do, especially seeing as I've done it before.
Please wish me luck...
I just feel like my life is out of control ATM.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
My "old, skinny clothes"...
Not once in my life have I ever had a piece of clothing I used to fit, and no longer do. I remember vividly weighing 93kg at age 13 when I first joined Weight Watchers.
Well, going through the cupboard today trying to find something to wear for first day back at school tomorrow left me feeling heartbroken, just absolutely heartbroken.
I have SOOO many items of clothing that no longer fit.
Sexy strapless tops, which I remember a very good friend saying I looked like a movie star in at dinner once, I can't wear anymore. They fit, but it's just not a good look. My favourite pair of jeans I can't wear. I can do them up, but again, you can clearly see they need to be a size bigger.
How did this happen? How did I go from 89kg to 102kg? Just last July I was 89kg. Now I feel like a house.
I've NEVER experienced these emotions before. These huge emotions of feeling like such a failure. Like that 2 years of working my arse off was for nothing.
Onl;y now when I look back at 89kg photos can I see just how much I've lost. When I was at 89kg, I still felt like that fat girl, and eating in public made me so nervous. God, I'd give anything to be 89kg again. I'd appreciate it so much more this time, knowing that (for me), that was an amazing weight to be at. It was a HUGE life achievement for me to get there, and I'd lik to think I can do it again, but to be honest, I just don't know if I have the fight anymore.
My weight and emotional eating will be with me for life. It will be a daily battle for me. I feel like some kind of addict.
I just don't know if a lifetime of not eating this and not eating that is truely what I want. I want to be able to eat something, and not feel guilt for doing so. I'd like to be able to go to Maccas and order something other than a salad, just once, but I feel extremely guilty for even thinking it, so I don't.
I just want to be normal. I want to look normal. I want to feel normal.
Well, going through the cupboard today trying to find something to wear for first day back at school tomorrow left me feeling heartbroken, just absolutely heartbroken.
I have SOOO many items of clothing that no longer fit.
Sexy strapless tops, which I remember a very good friend saying I looked like a movie star in at dinner once, I can't wear anymore. They fit, but it's just not a good look. My favourite pair of jeans I can't wear. I can do them up, but again, you can clearly see they need to be a size bigger.
How did this happen? How did I go from 89kg to 102kg? Just last July I was 89kg. Now I feel like a house.
I've NEVER experienced these emotions before. These huge emotions of feeling like such a failure. Like that 2 years of working my arse off was for nothing.
Onl;y now when I look back at 89kg photos can I see just how much I've lost. When I was at 89kg, I still felt like that fat girl, and eating in public made me so nervous. God, I'd give anything to be 89kg again. I'd appreciate it so much more this time, knowing that (for me), that was an amazing weight to be at. It was a HUGE life achievement for me to get there, and I'd lik to think I can do it again, but to be honest, I just don't know if I have the fight anymore.
My weight and emotional eating will be with me for life. It will be a daily battle for me. I feel like some kind of addict.
I just don't know if a lifetime of not eating this and not eating that is truely what I want. I want to be able to eat something, and not feel guilt for doing so. I'd like to be able to go to Maccas and order something other than a salad, just once, but I feel extremely guilty for even thinking it, so I don't.
I just want to be normal. I want to look normal. I want to feel normal.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Smaller goals me thinks.
So anyways, I'll weigh-in tomorrow, and will try and tackle this on a monthly basis. I'm hoping it doesn't send me into a spiral of binging for 2 weeks, then working my arse of the remaining 2.
Weight @ 02/04:
Weight by 01/05: 95kg
Weight by 01/06: 90kg
10kg GOAL - REWARD: My star tattoo! :D
Weight by 01/07: 85kg
Weight by 01/08: 80kg
Weight by 01/09: 75kg!!!!
Gee, it's so easy written down lol. How the hell do I tackle this?!?!?!
My birthday is the 19/09, and by golly, I plan to paint the town red should I be around the high 70's!
Weight @ 02/04:
Weight by 01/05: 95kg
Weight by 01/06: 90kg
10kg GOAL - REWARD: My star tattoo! :D
Weight by 01/07: 85kg
Weight by 01/08: 80kg
Weight by 01/09: 75kg!!!!
Gee, it's so easy written down lol. How the hell do I tackle this?!?!?!
My birthday is the 19/09, and by golly, I plan to paint the town red should I be around the high 70's!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Joining the Watching wagon again...
I thought I could do this by myself, I really did.
But I can't. I need guidence, I need accountability, and I need a stern mouth for when I gain.
That's why I'm joining Weight Watchers again.
I had great success with it 2 years ago, and really should've kept going, but I hit a plateau, became content at weighing 89kg, and ballooned back up to 100kg.
I have to accept my weight will be a bloody big struggle for me, every single day. And knowing how much of a struggle it is, makes me want to O.D on chocolate and hide in my bed. I'm married to a man who idolises me, our family is comoplete, why should it matter how heavy I am, or how attractive I am? Am I busting my arse every single day just to make myself feel better? Is that really worth all the damn effort?
But I can't. I need guidence, I need accountability, and I need a stern mouth for when I gain.
That's why I'm joining Weight Watchers again.
I had great success with it 2 years ago, and really should've kept going, but I hit a plateau, became content at weighing 89kg, and ballooned back up to 100kg.
I have to accept my weight will be a bloody big struggle for me, every single day. And knowing how much of a struggle it is, makes me want to O.D on chocolate and hide in my bed. I'm married to a man who idolises me, our family is comoplete, why should it matter how heavy I am, or how attractive I am? Am I busting my arse every single day just to make myself feel better? Is that really worth all the damn effort?
Saturday, March 22, 2008
It's been a while...
But things are still plodding along, day by day.
Currently 97kg. I think the problem is I put 10kg on overnight (seriously, I did!), so I'm expecting it to come off just as quickly. I hae to learn to be content with ANY weight loss.
Will update more later.
Currently 97kg. I think the problem is I put 10kg on overnight (seriously, I did!), so I'm expecting it to come off just as quickly. I hae to learn to be content with ANY weight loss.
Will update more later.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Yay - welcome weightloss!!!
1.1kg down.
'Bout time I got some better numbers than measly old grams. I mean, it's better than putting on, but it really doesn't help the 'ole motivation!
98.5kg as of this morning. Hoping for even more off next week!!
'Bout time I got some better numbers than measly old grams. I mean, it's better than putting on, but it really doesn't help the 'ole motivation!
98.5kg as of this morning. Hoping for even more off next week!!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Happy Birthday Cooper!!
My baby is 7 today.
Goodness!!!
I'm expecting a week of hard workouts to combat the amount of shite that will be consumed tonight.
It's his Birthday. It's once a year. I will eat and celebrate with him, and not feel guilty about it.
I lost 300gms this week, which means I'm at 99.6kg, which I'm happy with, as I did the 1000 steps on Monday, and have managed to strain both my calf muscles, which is making it VERY hard to walk, let alone exercise this week. I've lifted weights, but no cardio.
I'm still very sore, but it's slowly getting better. They are all knotted up and tender. I should be right by Monday, ready to do the stair climb again ROFL!!
Goodness!!!
I'm expecting a week of hard workouts to combat the amount of shite that will be consumed tonight.
It's his Birthday. It's once a year. I will eat and celebrate with him, and not feel guilty about it.
I lost 300gms this week, which means I'm at 99.6kg, which I'm happy with, as I did the 1000 steps on Monday, and have managed to strain both my calf muscles, which is making it VERY hard to walk, let alone exercise this week. I've lifted weights, but no cardio.
I'm still very sore, but it's slowly getting better. They are all knotted up and tender. I should be right by Monday, ready to do the stair climb again ROFL!!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
A loss is a loss...
I've managed to only lose 900gms this week, so am kinda happy with that. So back in the 90's, only if it is 99.9kg! lol. Pretty angry at myself, seeing as I was 89kg in July!
Oh well, no point stewing over it.
That's 2.3kg in 2 weeks, so am very happy with that.
Oh well, no point stewing over it.
That's 2.3kg in 2 weeks, so am very happy with that.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
I don't like Mondays...
I always feel like it's "The start" again on a Monday, no matter when I started.
Does that make sense?
ROFL!!
My teeth have been giving me huge grief ATM and the stabbing headaches are keeping me awake at night. By the time 5am rolls around and it's time to get up, I've usually managed 3 hours, at best, of broken sleep.
I won't let that stop me though. I get out of bed, head off to the gym, then come back and head off to work for 8 hours. Today at work though I got the dizzies really badly, and almost fell!
I'm not sure what provokes these pressure headaches, but ATM I only get them when I go to bed. I'll go to bed at say, 9pm, and by 10pm I'm awake in agoney. This continues through the night. I get up, have a few mouthfuls of coke, and that seems to dull them enough for me to doze off for another hour.
I'm ringing my oral surgeon tomorrow to see if I can move my appt. I can't continue like this until the 24th. It's just not healthy.
Food wise I'm doing REALLY well, even for me. I snack of fruit salad all day, and have almost nothing starchy all day!
That's big for me, as I've struggled with giving up the carbs most of all.
Okay, off to bed. It's very late for me, and I'm buggered.
A xxx
Does that make sense?
ROFL!!
My teeth have been giving me huge grief ATM and the stabbing headaches are keeping me awake at night. By the time 5am rolls around and it's time to get up, I've usually managed 3 hours, at best, of broken sleep.
I won't let that stop me though. I get out of bed, head off to the gym, then come back and head off to work for 8 hours. Today at work though I got the dizzies really badly, and almost fell!
I'm not sure what provokes these pressure headaches, but ATM I only get them when I go to bed. I'll go to bed at say, 9pm, and by 10pm I'm awake in agoney. This continues through the night. I get up, have a few mouthfuls of coke, and that seems to dull them enough for me to doze off for another hour.
I'm ringing my oral surgeon tomorrow to see if I can move my appt. I can't continue like this until the 24th. It's just not healthy.
Food wise I'm doing REALLY well, even for me. I snack of fruit salad all day, and have almost nothing starchy all day!
That's big for me, as I've struggled with giving up the carbs most of all.
Okay, off to bed. It's very late for me, and I'm buggered.
A xxx
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
The stats are there....
...and they aren't pretty.
2nd January, 2008
WEIGHT: 102.2kg.
CALF: 41cm
THIGH: 74 cm
HIPS: 125cm
BUST: 116cm
BICEP: 35cm.
Lets hope by the start of Feb they're smaller numbers.
2nd January, 2008
WEIGHT: 102.2kg.
CALF: 41cm
THIGH: 74 cm
HIPS: 125cm
BUST: 116cm
BICEP: 35cm.
Lets hope by the start of Feb they're smaller numbers.
You know what I regret?
Nothing.
I haven't been to the gym in more than a week.
Why?
It's Christmas.
I've eaten nothing but shit for more than a week.
Why?
IT'S CHRISTMAS!
Weight Watchers etc.. are all for "stick with us and we'll help you make the right food choices over Christmas..".
Ya know what, I don't want to make the right food choices over Christmas. I want to enjy Christmas for what it is. I want to gorge myself on the finest foods I'll eat for the next 12 months all in 2 days. Then it's out of my system and I'm straight back into high protein living.
I really enjoyed what I ate over the last 10 days. Did you?
If you did, that's GREAT! That's the whole idea of the silly season. ENJOY! If I'd stuck to my usual routine I would've been a grumpy mess, and probably later binged anyway.
I have also put on 2kg, and that's fine. I was prepared to gain over the silly season. No regrets here. Every action has a consequence. I went in fully knowing that Christmas and Boxing Day would show on the scales. For me, it was a fair trade.
I have no regrets about what I ate and the amount of exercise I've (not) done over the last 10 days. Do you?
I haven't been to the gym in more than a week.
Why?
It's Christmas.
I've eaten nothing but shit for more than a week.
Why?
IT'S CHRISTMAS!
Weight Watchers etc.. are all for "stick with us and we'll help you make the right food choices over Christmas..".
Ya know what, I don't want to make the right food choices over Christmas. I want to enjy Christmas for what it is. I want to gorge myself on the finest foods I'll eat for the next 12 months all in 2 days. Then it's out of my system and I'm straight back into high protein living.
I really enjoyed what I ate over the last 10 days. Did you?
If you did, that's GREAT! That's the whole idea of the silly season. ENJOY! If I'd stuck to my usual routine I would've been a grumpy mess, and probably later binged anyway.
I have also put on 2kg, and that's fine. I was prepared to gain over the silly season. No regrets here. Every action has a consequence. I went in fully knowing that Christmas and Boxing Day would show on the scales. For me, it was a fair trade.
I have no regrets about what I ate and the amount of exercise I've (not) done over the last 10 days. Do you?
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